After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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