Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
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