Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize