You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
