Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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