with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
