The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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