Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
