he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
