I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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