I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
