Well apparently he's into motor boating.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
