mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
