the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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