she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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