I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
