my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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