I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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