My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
