I can't watch pbs sober anymore
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
