we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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