He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
