it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
