I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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