so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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