Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
