im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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