Me. At least after what I've been through.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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