Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
