I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
