If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize