Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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