Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
