I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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