You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
That reminds me...we need to get swords
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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