Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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