The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
