Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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