She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
