You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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