Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm getting married
To pizza
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
