is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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