were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
