i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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