if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
