Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
