I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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