this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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