okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
