How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
