i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
