i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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