3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
