just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
