As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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