so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
