Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
