So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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