She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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