Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
