**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
its not stalking. its research.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
