Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)

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(850): View more from Florida

From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.

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(740): View more from Ohio

you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking

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(573): View more from Missouri

Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.

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(303): View more from Colorado

She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.

(719): View more from Colorado

this better not be you asking for a beej

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(248): View more from Michigan

THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?

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(281): View more from Texas

I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.

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(456): View more from

It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...

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(513): View more from Ohio

This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed

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