he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
