Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize