I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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