We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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