Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
There was a lot of him and a little penis
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize