So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
