I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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