she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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