What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
