He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
