How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize