i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
